Utterly lost?

What to do, when you don't know what to do?

When one begins to run out of time, time that seemed just yesterday infinite and friendly. And today seems like the enemy. Each day taunting, and vicious in its inexorable march forward. What will become of me in that onslaught?

What does one do when one regrets the time and life given in service to others?

Do I begrudge them of the time I once happily, joyfully, willingly gave? To move their (not my) goals forward. To guarantee that their (not my) children succeeded. To fill their hearts (not mine) with security, joy, and contentment?

I hate myself for saying it, but at this time in my life, childless, degree-less, spouse-less, and near hopeless, I must say that; yes, yes I do regret every year I spent improving the lives of ungrateful, selfish, others.

So what does one do? Except sit overwhelmed and cry out to HaShem for a bit of merciful fairness?